Martin 'Scooby' Arnold

Satana Pizza Sauce

Satana Pizza Sauce

When asked to review a pizza, only an idiot would say no. In fact I am an idiot that said ‘yes’. Don’t worry guys I haven’t gone soft, its an extract sauce based pizza from Ged at The Chilli Pepper Company based in Cumbria. The sauce as I said is extract based and is made up with Tomatoes, Tomato juice, Oregano, Pepper, Basil, Onion, Garlic, Vinegar, Dried chilli and Chilli flavour. The jar also comes with a small vial of oak smoked Naga which smells fantastic. The sauce is pretty misleading, no different smell to a normal tomato pizza sauce. Instructions that I got with it are nice and simple also, just like me 😀

5 Table spoons of sauce onto a 10-inch base, add cheese, sprinkle on vial of oak smoke Naga then bung in the oven for 10 minutes or until cooked to your liking then enjoy.

Ingredients: Tomatoes, Tomato Juice, Oregano, Pepper, Basil, Onion, Garlic, vinegar, Dried Chilli, Chilli Flavour.

Well for this I had to get my neighbours involved as according to their son Liam, his mum always burns pizza. It helps that they love their food hot hot hot. First bite in and BOOM. Tongue, mouth and throat burn. Got some sauce on my lips also and immediately the heat kicks in. Powerful heat typically associated with an extract sauce but you can hardly taste it. The extract metallic taste is very mild and is overpowered by a rich tomato sauce which strongly reminds me of a true Italian pizza taste. But of course it has one real BIG difference. Yep you guessed it. My mouth is on fire. On with the hiccups and the pain despite an awesome taste. Alex is out, Gail is out and I’m out. Typical Liam has to keep munching. At the end of it all I get through half of the pizza and milk is my only salvation. This pizza is extreme burn and lasts and lasts and lasts. And at only £3 a jar it’s a complete bargain. Even when you have brought the base and the cheese your still quids in compared to some other pizza companies who I will not name so I shall just call them ‘Rominoes’ for now. Definitely a thumbs up from me and the team here on this one. A big sorry to Alex for making her eat it. Bog roll in the freezer luv.

For a jar of this crazy pasta/pizza sauce get over to www.chileseeds.co.uk and place and order TODAY!. You can’t go wrong.

So remember guys, if it burns going in, it will burn coming out.

Flavour
(8/10)
Heat
(9/10)
Packaging Great size jar, but label is not the final one so cannot comment.
Value
(9/10)
Overall
(8.5/10)

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The Rib Man - Holly Fuck The Rib Man – Holly Fuck

HOLY FUCK…….. is the name of my next review sauce. No I am not being rude this is actually what it is called. Made by ‘The Rib Man’ who is based on Kings cross on a Thursday and sells ribs to die for. Whether it be by the rack, in a bun or in a wrap. But that was not enough for ‘The Rib Man’ o no. He decided to play around making hot sauces. Customers approved of what he made but somehow found them getting hotter and hotter and hotter until he finally came up to this. Holy Fuck hot sauce. Made from Scotch Bonnet and Naga it is sure to pack a punch. Worth taking note that these are all made to order and fresh so please expect to wait 7-10 days for delivery. But it is worth it. For a mere £5.00 a bottle your in for a treat of heat.

With a smoky and bbq taste that has a slight fruityness behind it this leaves the whole of your mouth tingling which swiftly turns into a burn. Admittedly I did use this sauce in a roll with a couple of slices of beef which I know is not the same as The Rib Man’s succulent and juicy ribs but it’s the best I have to offer tonight. But even then this tastes spectacular. Rich red in colour which you can clearly see a large amount of chilli have gone into this. Seeds and chopped pods floating about covering every part of the sauce. The texture is pretty smooth considering there is what seem to be so many chopped pods.

Scrolling through reviews of the ribs and this sauce are all extremely positive. I am going to have to take a trip to Kings cross to check out these now. Will have to take my bottle of sauce along for the journey also hehe. Although I am speaking highly of this sauce I feel I have not done it justice by reviewing it to its purpose. I can imagine it only getting better with the real deal. Proper rib meat in a wrap or just straight off the rack. This is a must buy sauce and a great time to get it too as I am sure we are due some sun real soon. So get out the bbq.

Get over to www.theribman.co.uk and take a look for yourself. Great stuff.

Remember guys, if it burns going in, it will burn coming out.

Flavour
(8.5/10)
Heat
(8/10)
Packaging Plain bottle with Holy Fuck Label
Value
(8/10)
Overall
(8/10)

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Around the Dartmoor Chilli Farm

Around the Dartmoor Chilli Farm

Well I hope you are all very sympathetic towards me. 6 hours in the car with whining, screaming, ‘are we nearly there yet?’ and ‘I need a wee’. And that was just the wife, you should have heard the kids.We finally arrived at Bideford to see the relatives when I finally persuaded my better half (sitting beside me right now) to go and see Phil and Kay at Dartmoor Chilli Farm. So straight away I rang Phil and arranged a trip. And once again back in the car for another 2 hours of driving and soaking up the views of Dartmoor National Park. We finally arrive to a winding road (Most of them were winding to be honest) that led us to a collection of wooden units and polytunnels and a large area surrounded by all aspects of nature.

After a brief chat with Phil we went on a tour of the farm itself and I now realise that I never fully appreciated the products they have to offer. This farm is amazing. The whole structure and setup is one that should be followed by all. I mean just think of the running costs for a chilli farm with electricity, water, general heating ect. O wait a minute, not this farm. Phil and Kay have worked extremely hard. Solar power units running the whole of the site, no mains water supply, large wooden cabin house which I fell in love with. Everything that goes into their sauces and products is home grown from strawberries to chillis and they have also planted many apple trees so watch out for more products in time when they start to fruit in the next year or so. The whole atmosphere is relaxed and peaceful which I cannot understand as this must have an extremely demanding role for both these guys. 4000 plants growing this year with a large poly tunnel getting all of these bad boys up to strength before moving out to there many other tunnels to progress the crops. Then there is the preperation of the other plants, fruit and vegetables they use. Masses of work involved.

Smoking Chillies

Smoking Chillies

Whilst walking around I found my nostrils flaring as I came across a familiar smell, Chipotle chillis cooking away in the kitchen where Kay was gleeming whilst filling jars of chutneys and sauces and again I was surprised how small each batch was. Talk about making it all fresh and great detail to each batch. And how do you think these guys smoke the chillis? Massive industrial expensive smoker? Send away to be smoked? Not with these two behind the wheel, no waste here as Phil has drilled holes in a fridge and this is the smoker. This is awesome. Why doesn’t everyone do this??

When it came to leaving Phil presented me with a selection of goodies ranging from hot strawberry jam which is gorgeous to say the least, as well as a new .sauce which he shall reveal shortly. All I can say is that it is not mild, it tastes yum yum yum and is what I can only describe as ‘dynamite’

Go check this duo out at www.dartmoorchillifarm.com and see what tickles your fancy. This was not what I was expecting as I thought I would walk in to a mass produced factory or something like that, not a self sufficient running farm with only 2 people. Crazy, but successful. I wish them both the best for the future in all that they do. Extremely hard working and I cannot speak highly enough of what they have and are aiming to achieve. My hat goes off to you. Start to finished product, AMAZING!!

So with that my chilliheads remember, If it burns going in, It will burn coming out.

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Lily's Chillies - Chilli Ketchup

Lily's Chillies - Chilli Ketchup

Put your hands up if your feeling saucy! I know I am, but tomato ketchup ain’t going to cut it today. O come on what did you think I meant by feeling saucy? Bangers and mash tonight and I want a sauce of some kind to liven it up. I call upon Lily’s Chillies to fulfil my needs with their Original chilli ketchup. Flavour with fire which has been handmade in Sussex.

Fiery Chilli ketchup is crammed with tomatoes and bursting with flavour….. and a kickass Scotch Bonnet heat

290g bottle with a good old chunky neck so you don’t have all that grief that is associated with another ketchup producer that you have to end up slapping the living daylights out of just for a drop. Or even poking it for ages with a knife to find that suddenly your knife is engulfed with way to much of the red stuff. The Sauce itself looks darker than the conventional ketchups you see, but its clearly visible that there is natural ingredients in this due to its just off smooth texture. This is not a pouring sauce, but a gliding sauce. You have perfect control over this at all times for the perfect amount for your personal taste.

The aroma is sweet and at the same time a very strong tomato smell accompanied by what I can only say seems like a blend of apples and onions which blends superbly. This ketchup draws you in with both appearance and smell.

Ingredients: Tomatoes (Made with 200g per 100g of ketchup), Onions, White Wine Vinegar, Sugar, Scotch Bonnet Chillies (2%), Garlic, Spices, Salt, Black Peppercorns.

The taste, in my own words, mmmmmmmmmm nom nom nom. Spot on. This packs a great punch and the sweetness and tomato gives this ketchup a thumbs up again and again. The sweetness is a mixture from the Scotch bonnet ultimately. This is a beautifully sweet ketchup which is miles better than a normal supermarket version. I have tried plenty of hot ketchups before but this is without a shadow of doubt my favourite. It leaves you with a definite heat but being that it is made with the bonnets has made it so it has kept its flavour. I honestly don’t think this would work if was hotter.

£4.00 a bottle is all good in my eyes. Why pay less for something that is bland and boring when you can get this? Get it in now! Awesome for bbq’s, fry ups etc and of course, bangers and mash.

Until next time guys remember, if it burns going it, it will burn coming out.

To order please speak to Charlotte via email: charlotte@lilys-chillies.co.uk

Flavour
(9.5/10)
Heat
(5/10)
Packaging
(8/10) (Great wide neck bottle)
Value
(8/10)
Overall
(9/10)

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