Martin 'Scooby' Arnold

Hey hey my chilli nuts!!! Cast your minds back to June of this year and you may well remember Hot Juan giving us all a heads up on a book coming out called……….

‘Dr Burnorium’s Compendium of Hot Sauces’.

Well today my friends, I have a copy sitting right here beside me.

A handy 13x19cm book which is a great size for your travels and has 40 of Dr Burnoriums favourite hot sauces from around the world. This is not, I repeat NOT!!!!!! A general book filling you with gumpf about the elegant tastes ect.

This book tells you exactly how each of the sauces behave on the taste buds. It will take you on a roller coaster of a ride through the sauces and the makers and each has its very own quirky story and comical value.

But to get into feel for the book you cannot simply go straight into reading about the sauces as I found out when I first picked it up.

You need start at the very beginning, a bit like any normal book really, pillock!! Start at the beginning and you find yourself in the depths of Dr B’s mind and from there you can fully understand and appreciate his language and terminology of the reviews. I mean come on, who the hell can come up with descriptive words for a hot sauce like, Well endowed, good girth? Or hung like a donkey? Brilliant!.

The main producers of the sauces for the book are of course the legendary Blair Lazar, Cajohn, Marie Sharp and David Ashley. A brief update on the old faithful scoville scale before hitting the hot sauce reviews and ending on some awesome recipes. A great read.

I strongly recommend this book for anybody who likes there heat and beyond. Learn about sauces like ‘Wet fart’, ‘Mad dog 357’, ‘Sphinkter srhinker’ and not forgetting the doctors very own ‘Psycho juice’.

Pick up a copy now from Amazon for I believe £9.99 or Dr Burnorium direct and you cannot go wrong. Definitely and informative book with a character of its own. Dr Burnorium  has definitely pulled out all the stops for this book. Thumbs up from me.

So remember guys, if it burns going in, it will burn coming out. Scooby out.

Flavour
(9/10)
Heat
(11/10)
Packaging
(9/10)
Value (7/10)
Overall
(9/10)

 

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The Complete Menu - Curry With LoveBalti? ummmm, Bhuna? O I don’t know. How about the Dhansak? Vindaloo? Jalfrezi? O MY GOD PEOPLE HELP. If your wondering what I’m going on about it’s the www.curry-with-love.co.uk menu and I am going to review one here for you now but I don’t know what to choose. I think I am going to go with the public on this one and go with Goan. This sounds like it’s the CWL top seller and although it is not number 1 on my list of their curries it’s without a doubt one of the best curries I have ever had. I used to enjoy going out for a meal down my local Indian but I can honestly say with my hand on my heart I cannot remember the last time I went.

Now it’s a quick visit down to Bury St Edmunds market on Wednesday (Outside Body shop) and Saturdays (Outside Sports direct next to where Woolworth used to be) But you can order online too. Grab curry or two and run back home. With 11 curries on offer (Well 12 if you include both the Vindaloo and vindaloo hot) and if you want more heat then grab a love bite. A pod with Naga powder locked up tight inside for all us nutters who like the extra heat beyond the realms of normal tastebuds. Being a family run business which was created by mother and daughter they are going from strength to strength. I believe Daddy plays a big part too in setting up the stall too so allowing the ladies to work their magic and get the tasters ready each time. Well now I must apologise as I have noticed I’m babbling and not reviewing, tut tut Scooby not very professional hey.

Right then, Goan Curry. £3.75 a pop which is enough for 4 people. And before you health conscious start moaning about curry not being healthy I would politely like to say shut up, sit down, and listen for one minute. These are sold s very healthy, and when you get them home you then make them as naughty or as good as you like. The Curry itself comes in two packets. Spice pack 1 consists of your spices ect that make the curry what it is and spice pack 2 has your dried onions and garlic.

Ingredients: Dried onions, Garlic, Whole black peppercorns, Sugar, Mixed spices (Corriander, Cumin, Cayenne pepper, Paprika, Turmeric, Ginger)

Nice and simple hey? It comes complete with instructions and additional ingredients to pop in too. The Goan for example needs 2Tbsp Vegetable oil, 400ml Coconut milk, 800g of meat/Veg or 400g fish/Prawns. Fresh lemon juice and 1 Tbsp of fish sauce. Obviously you add what you want from this side of things to be naughty or good but I like it as god intended, Naughty hehe. So in goes the Coconut milk.

Your talking 15 maybe 20 minutes start to finish with these curry packs and the flavours are o so good (Goosebump moment) The spices work perfect together and are complimented by the additional ingredients which I’m sorry but it had to be a meaty one. Even though it hurts me to say it but the vegetable version is just as good. I always do their Pilau rice too which again is spot on but you seriously must listen to the instructions as I found out the hard way. When it says to leave and not stir then you do so. Won’t be doing that again, Pillock. Every aspect of the curry compliments the next and tastes sublime. The spices are in a terrific blend and are all freshly made each week and natural you can even taste it. None of this junk you get in a jar from somebody like, o I dunno, Marwoods? Wink Wink I think you know what I mean.

So you think I’m being bit over the top hey? My fellow reviewer ‘Darth Naga’ has also tried these curries, he even posted this on his facebook yesterday:

Quite simply the BEST, tastiest and easy to make curry kits on the PLANET! If you’ve never had a CWL then you haven’t had a curry.

Well I think that should just about answer your questions on the sheer awesomeness of these products. O and by the way they are also offering 3 side dishes and a meat spice mix. And I hear that there may even be a venture into other areas of the curry market with new exciting products but they wont tell me exactly what, but I have an idea hehe.

So there you have it, Curry packs which are really made with love, awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

So until next time guys, remember, if it burns going in, it will burn going out.

Flavour
(9.5/10)
Heat
(2/10)
Packaging
(8.5/10)
Value (9.5/10)
Overall
(10/10)

And one last thing, when you order please say you heard about these guys through me! Then maybe I can wangle some freebies hahahahahaha. Laters Chilliheads!

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Mr Vikki's Hot Mango ChutneyIt has not been that long since I got introduced to a few products from Mr Vikki’s. But even from the go I have found their products to be of great quality and spectacular flavour. The last product that I tried and reviewed was Tomato and Nigella chutney. This to the day stands as one of my favourites and I can give you a list of people who have also been converted over to this just from me getting them to try it. So you can see that with this review today Mr Vikki has a lot to bring to the table so can he pull it off with another fiery concoction fit for a king? Or fall short and produce something than will sting your arse rather than tingle the tastebuds? Lets find out with ‘Hot mango chutney’.

Appearance is what I would expect from a mango product, dark yellow pulpy textured chutney which looks lovely and smooth when tilt the jar. Plenty of specs of green, red and seeds. The smell is, dare I say, similar if not the same as the tomato and nigella? Don’t get me wrong this is not a bad thing as it tasted perfect. I reckon it’s a similar recipe with the change of Tomato for Mango.

Ingredients: Mangoes 55%, Sugar, Vinegar, Chillies, Garlic, Mustard, Fenugreek, Habanero chillies, Corriander, Green Cardomom and spices.

Jar kindly supplied by Mr Vikki’s

Ok so maybe the recipes are different, just the spice blend must be similar. The aroma is typical of an Indian chutney, simple as that. Spice and sweetness. Lets get on with some tasting.

In goes the spoon and straight away I’m greeted with a lovely sweetness of the Mango and great flavour from the spices and fenugreek. Not a massive Habanero flavour if any at all in my opinion, more spice and mango. The heat is warming but not stupid or over intense. Its just right to get the flavours out without ruining it while getting chilli burn alone. The texture is lovely and smooth as it glides on the spoon but at the same time has a just off smooth bite to it. Pulpy texture that is just man enough that it stands tall on your popadom without falling off, perfect.

So Mr Vikki has in fact done it again. I still stand by the Tomato and Nigella being my number one but this mango put up a real fight and I have to admit is now my number 2. So Mr Vikki has a 1-2 in my list of top chutneys. My hat goes off to you sir. And at £3.50 jar you really can’t go wrong for something of this quality.

Give them a look at www.mrvikkis.co.uk

So remember guys, if it burns going in, it will burn coming out.

Flavour
(9/10)
Heat
(4/10)
Packaging
(8.5/10)
Value (7/10)
Overall
(8.5/10)

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Bullet To The BrainRight then guys, a little pointer for you. When you are asked to do a double review, make sure it is of a mild product. Not in the case of me and Cameron doing two product in one video for The Chilli Pepper Company www.chileseeds.co.uk. I should know better after my last experience when Ged sent me a bottle of heart throb which near killed me. But for some stupid reason I am doing two products.

So today we have got a sexy little number going by the name of ‘Bullet To The Brain’. Great design of a bullet on a keyring and the bullet is packed with a near neon powder from the Brain strain chilli. I dont think I need to tell you much about the chilli apart from its effing hot. I tried some neat a couple of days before and it was mental. And the second product is called Pure pain paste and to be frank about it the name sends shivvers down the spine. Not purely due to its name, but I know who made it and that is a lethal combo. Anyway, enough of this chatting rubbish, let’s get to the business end of the review. Take a look and see what pains have been inflicted on our poor bodies.

Well there your go. The Bullet is awesome styling and a great product to ramp up both heat and flavour to any dish really. Packs a great punch and as it is something you can take around with you anywhere I reckon its one to pick up as you ever know when you may need a quick fix. And at only £3.50 its not a lot of dollar.

But the paste????? Yes it is extremely hot but at the same time a glorious chutney style flavour and texture. I wont lie, I was a bit let down at the start as there was no heat. And when I say no heat I mean none what so ever. Well 20 seconds later I’m crying so that shut me up. Okay so Cam is not a chilli head but he thoroughly enjoyed both products and came out extremely worse for wear. Cameron just got out of camera shot quick enough before sprawling himself in pain of the flower bed and wrecking the plants with what I can only state as ‘Too much chilli syndrome’. I think you get what I mean. Not no picnic for me either and again, a £3.50 product. You can’t complain about the prices as they are very cheap for what you are getting.

Well I think I will leave there for you to ponder if your up for a dose of heat on both the hot and the extreme, but I’m sure you are.

So until next time guys, if it burns going in, it will burn coming out.

Bullet to the brain:

Flavour
(9/10)
Heat
(10/10)
Packaging
(10/10)
Value
(8.5/10)
Overall
(9/10)

 

PPP:

Flavour
(7.5/10)
Heat
(11/10)
Packaging
(6.5/10)
Value
(8.5/10)
Overall
(8/10)

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